Whenever I turn around, I see Zehra typing furiously on her cutie batootie little white mac, and I wonder, can she really have all that much to say? Of course she can. There are days I see her sitting on the couch looking out at the window, laptop in lap, barney next to her, and suddenly a burst of clicking sounds come from that futon - and her face is focused, lip often bit, yet, there's a casual elegance to her posture - as if making sense of the world around us or understanding how to contend with world poverty is something we do as a daily occurance - this nonchalance worries me sometimes, but often, I find it to be incredibly liberating - the world is simple - we chose to complicate it.
I thought I would take the opportunity to guest write on zehra's blog because she's leaving us soon - after a three month summer - and that, I figure, deserves something. something like a blog entry. I suppose I could have written her a comment, but really, that is nothing like being the guest writer on someone's blog. this is like being able to be paris hilton for a day - for a moment, to stand in the space where zehra stands - to know i have at least 8 people reading this around the world knowing what happens in my world. But not really my world, the world that zehra and I occupy. That's a very different world. My sisters and I have a small universe which we rule, and we live there and when we are together, we seemlessly, effortlessly, selfishly move into those spaces -- which are comfortable, yet, problematic because we often forget to rework some power structures, but if we stay there long enough we can even make those adjustments... this is a space that zehra and i have recently rennovated since we've lived together after almost six years - a long six years - probably good that we didn't live together sooner - everything has a time - and a place - and I had to grow up and she did too - it's easier to be kids together once we've matured.
Rather than make the entire entry about zehra - and our relationship - allow me to step for a moment out of my navel gazing, and tell you about my sticky kitchen counter. I love my kitchen counter. It's the first bonifide counter space i've ever had to myself - outside of my mother's home. it makes all the difference. however, with every chaand (moon) there must be a kala dana (spot) in order to ensure it does not get the evil eye. the kala dana for my kitchen counter is the right corner which some how gets sticky every three days. This morning I woke up and even before I had my coffee (or made zehra her tea) I grabbed a sponge, sloshed a lot of orange dishwashing liquid (albeit slightly diluted since Dina decided to put water in it) and just went at the counter. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. and wow does that counter make me feel scorned. at least i think it does cos there's a lot of fury when I scrub that corner. now that I think about it, I'm not really sure what scorned really feels like -- hmm. or maybe I'm just repressing the memory of being scorned. In any event, this sticky counter problem really upsets me. Every few days, I will put my hand on the counter while I open the fridge and pick it up with an "ew" on my face and look up to zehra who is typing away on her computer and say, "Zehra, why is this counter always sticky!??" and she will look up momentarily and say something like "didn't you just clean that?" or "why is it?" -- or will grunt. These days she's taken a lot to grunting.
Last week I was looking at a photograph of my family from the early 80's - If I had to guess, it might have been 1982 - we all look the same - well, relatively speaking. You can see all the characters in each of our faces. Characters - that's really what we are. And so I come to an end to my guest blogging - I could go on for a while, but I think I've said enough. And all this typing has reminded me of all the typing I should be doing on my dissertation. So, on to my next cup of coffee and to the dissertation desk. (sigh)
I will miss zehra when she leaves. She's a good kid.
Appie (the SUPER KHAAS Guest Blogger)