1: I don't have flapper hair. I have a fro that needs attention if cut short and I am not a patient person and don't like to pay attention.
2: I am not tall
3: I don't know what absynth is and I don't want to try it. It sounds like opium.
4: It's not realistic unless, like some Pakistani's recently said to me when I told them I would have loved to have lived in the 20's since they said I had a classic 20's look about me that even though I would have had to be a slave girl since I'm brown, they said, no, you could have been a spy like Mata Hari since that is what educated women from the east did back in the day. I am not good spy material or educated or from the east at this point so, I would have been a slave girl and that is a far cry from being a flapper. Unless the fates smiled on me and I became the slave girl cum flapper overnight sensation but you know everyone would whisper behind my back, there goes the slave girl cum flapper overnight sensation and I would have to work really hard to keep myself new and innovative (and immune to the malicious, jealous gossip) just so as not to be a fad and to be a real and true flapper. That really just sounds like too much effort.
5: I am not lithe
6: I would punch Zelda Fitzgerald if I met her and that would effectively end my flapper days since I would be excommunicated from the cool scene. Maybe I could do the Paris scene instead of the NYC one.
7: I am not a fluent french speaker.
8: According to EHB, the french use less soap per capita than any other country. I like being clean. I like soap.
9: My ass is too big (which I like)
10: I am trying to quit smoking
11: I would want to be the coolest flapper in town and unless that town is Ampara circa Dec 2004 to Dec 2005, I wouldn't be witty enough and therefore would pretend that flappers suck and goth moodiness is in.
12: I would look scary in red red lipstick and white white face powder. I don't know how to apply serious makeup either which is somewhat problematic.
13: I don't wear heels
14: I like dancing to bollywood and hip hop. The flapper dance is cute but a little bit funny for me.
15: No indoor plumbing or electric toothbrushes in the 1920's. That is problematic.
I still wished I lived in Paris in the twenties. I would be the exotic friend of everyone. I would totally play it up as well....for those who know me, and know how I play it up already, imagine me embodying exotic. Coco would have named a perfume after me. Zehra No. 5.
Like Johnny No. 5. He was alive.